it's okay, just relax now~

I just got done watching.


WATCHING PARANOIA AGENT

jesus it is my number one.

EDOT:

I now present to you the reasons I had to clean my screen free of milk (first video) and tea (second video).
Like I said before, I don't know why this guy cracks me up but he does.

THE MUSIC IS FITTING BECAUSE I REALLY CAN'T STOP WRITING

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

EXCUSE ME WHILE I TAKE FOUR MORE EXCEDRIN AND DOWN THE REST OF THIS RUM AND FINISH THIS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL BOOK LIKE A BOSS. IN A SINGLE WEEK.

I WISH I COULD KISS THIS WORK IN PROGRESS

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THIS AND MORE WRITTEN WHILST LISTENING TO THIS.

allow me to demonstrate the shit of all shits

Let me display before you the entire video chain that, in order, are parts of the FUCKING AWESOME BOOK I AM WRITING NOW.

Madoka Magica because of the I WILL GRANT YOU ONE WISH IF YOU FIGHT FOR ME (This trailer is actually perfect actually I don't even watch madoka but 1:08 - 1:10 nearly had me GASPING because it was BEAUTIFUL in its GRAPHIC BRILLIANCE and the twirly choreography when the girl fights the ninemillion black things off with guns in a circle is FUCKING NICE.)

Sin from FFX because of the TITAN IS ATTACKING RANDOMLY AND IT SUCKS PLUS THERE'S A RELIGION BASED AROUND ACCEPTING IT/TRYING TO DESTROY IT except my sin is called the Wave and it isn't as OP as this dude and is a self-recycling biomass I'll get to the details later

MERCENARY ACADEMY FOR YOUNGSTERS. WAR. YOU GET IT. MINUS THE 900 PRETTY BOYS. THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE PRETTY BOY IN MY BOOK.

 

PLUS A WASTELAND FILLED WITH LITTLE VILLAGES AND HEDONISTIC CITIES AND RAIDERS AND ZOMBIES AND FILTH

GET IT

GET IT?

GET ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

good. because all of that makes this.

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populace decline diagram

I live to write.

And I'm not just saying this, because everytime I think about death I think a little about what it would be like to die without ever being in love, but mostly I think about dying and never getting to write again, create again, struggle and angst again over a story I made.

so.

Guys I remember the exact moment I learned that boys won't follow you.

They talk at events with you. Wine coolers on the lawn or whatever, meetups at convention centers or whatever, but when you're interested they don't seem to understand. They don't follow you when you walk away, they'd rather stay in the comfort of their circle of accquaintances or friends or whatever and talk and look at you when they think you don't notice. (always notice. I always.)

In shoujo manga (GROSS) this wouldn't be a problem. The guy always follows the girl, because more often than not the girl is a contrarian and somehow the boy knows exactly what to do.
And I know life isn't like that.

But figuring out is so disheartening.
(silly)

I guess it's because I'm mean looking in the sense I look like I want to be left alone.

but maybe just for once I could walk away and someone would understand and follow.

That would be nice.

I guess I'm going soft because I wrote a book where romance was real and they actually did lovey stuff. I'll go back to the flintheart in three days, don't you worry your pretty head.