populace decline diagram

I live to write.

And I'm not just saying this, because everytime I think about death I think a little about what it would be like to die without ever being in love, but mostly I think about dying and never getting to write again, create again, struggle and angst again over a story I made.

so.

Guys I remember the exact moment I learned that boys won't follow you.

They talk at events with you. Wine coolers on the lawn or whatever, meetups at convention centers or whatever, but when you're interested they don't seem to understand. They don't follow you when you walk away, they'd rather stay in the comfort of their circle of accquaintances or friends or whatever and talk and look at you when they think you don't notice. (always notice. I always.)

In shoujo manga (GROSS) this wouldn't be a problem. The guy always follows the girl, because more often than not the girl is a contrarian and somehow the boy knows exactly what to do.
And I know life isn't like that.

But figuring out is so disheartening.
(silly)

I guess it's because I'm mean looking in the sense I look like I want to be left alone.

but maybe just for once I could walk away and someone would understand and follow.

That would be nice.

I guess I'm going soft because I wrote a book where romance was real and they actually did lovey stuff. I'll go back to the flintheart in three days, don't you worry your pretty head.