like drowning in meatfreezer air

let's talk about fancy hotel parties







let's not





I was drunk all of the time

and I hate people
but i'll be the first to admit whiskey is jagged
painkillers are smooth
and that I like eating popsicles in rooms full of men
and that I like lavishing attention on women because it makes them feel beautiful and they all deserve to feel beautiful

I like everything that isn't boring






"why do you wear so much black"



because I'm mourning, motherfucker 


fuck 


off


i have a new set of teeth and i will devour you whole








**~~**~*~*just kidding~~**~*~*~*~*~*~~*


~***~*~**let's talk about our lives and careers and childhoods and exchange numbers isn't that cute~*~*~*~*~**~




boring




i love this switch i flip it like a child ignorant of electric bills

trying to make their own strobe light


like a child toying with a crippled animal

perforation

EDIT:

It's weird because now I have to take my writing off because the internet records things you know and if the writing goes anywhere pub wise then this blog'll be REVEALED and I cannot AFFORD that

because ugh facebook ugh twitter ugh people everywhere it is hard to be a human not an author not a label not a genre not an investment

who am I kidding I love it

sleeping is hard because nightmares

I know horror

I've seen the end of my life many times over in technicolor detail and in dozens of different scents and time scales slow motion fast motion superspeed

I know terror

it happens every other month, just a week of nightmares and getting up at night

even my naps in the light have nightmares

I think

I think this'll happen probably for a long time

can I be saved by confessing

because I will never confess

because being saved is better reserved for someone who really needs it

I can save myself I have a good strong rope

I am my own best opponent

attack defense speed

I'm speed.

don't get too melodramatic now~
lack of sleepppppppppppp 

I'm gonna take some nyquil and probably wake up but also then play some utapri and get ren's route done whooooo

SO WHAT IF I FOUND IT FROM AN LP OF CORPSE PARTY OH MY HOLY KRISHNA

THE ELECTRONIC THINGS SOUND LIKE THEY'RE SAYING 'UH OH' IT'S SO CUTE AND DELIRIOUS

EDIHADAFIT:

this happened

and this happened

and I was like

and then this happened;

and I was like

you were doing so good masato

I can only understand like a third of what's going on so the gist I got is that some other dude (REN) hit on me and Haruka was like noooo and then masato came in and saw ren doing shit and then he ran away out of anger and then Haruka ran after him and he was like 'it's okay if ren does it like this so I can do it like this too, right?' and sure he's like repressed and controlled by his family and all rich and stuck up but dude you can't just

DID I ASK FOR RAPISTS IN THIS GAME

anyway haruka cries and he's like 'I'm sorry' and runs off

there's way too much running off in this route I'm like 'whatever pussies' the whole time

hopefully tokiya won't be a ho
i get the feeling I might actually like ren's route better too








real writers uh
play otomes about boybands

I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS SHIT WHOOPS



IF YOU CAN'T GUESS WHICH ONE I'M GOING FOR ON MY FIRST AND ONLY PLAYTHROUGH YOU AND I ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS



and if you say Natsuki I will kick you until I see blood
and yes they're all homosexual I'm sure
that doesn't mean I can't collect em allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll through sheer force of will and natural charisma and a walkthrough

MASATO, YOU FOOLS



If you said Otoya you don't know me at all
If you said Tokiya you only know the past me (BECAUSE YES, I WOULD YES IN THE PAST)
If you said Ren I will possibly roll my eyes until they fall out
If you said Sho FUCK YOUR SHIT




(who am I kidding I'll guilty-dabble in Tokiya's route)

I LIKE MY ICE THIN

god okay you know that feeling you get when you're about to do something really stupid but you really wanna do it anyway and are like 'fuck it, this is my life'

that's like the whole feeling as I write this book
also, latent self-hatred

"Creak, creak, tower of purgatory, piercing the world like light. Sway, sway, tower of spine. Will it be us or the sky that falls?"

\

.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||


"I just keep practicing
Saying goodbye to you"

I just really like music where they make the electronic things sound like they're screaming

people better make AMVs of my robot book's cartoon adaption to this fucking song

CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP

.