il giudizio finale sta per essere emesso

The end!


The end!!!!!!!!!





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IT'S OVER AND I

AND I


it's not going to get me an agent. I'll flesh it out and query it for kicks, but not expecting anything with this one.


This one is a good kid, but not a commercial kid.

I don't lie

guys I aint gonna lie

I'm a little nervous about seeing you guys again I mean
I mean
I'm pretty much a failure. My dream is a failure.

So.

I dunno. I feel bad. I was supposed to be better than this by now.

Oh well.


oooooooooooooooooooooh well.

I'm pretty boring now, too. I don't drink, I just write and work and sleep. It's boring.

oh well.

oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh well.


I'm still hella excited.

RAGEEDITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT:

WELL MY HAIR WOULD BE BLACK IF MY FUCKING DYE WOULD WORK PROPERLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST I DIDN'T ASK FOR PURPLE

it's easy to let it go

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I lied.

I'm still crying.


This book might not be very impressive, but it has these underlying things that I'm discovering, these pieces and bits that make me stop, that make me admire _____. it is growing evolving digivolving right before my eyes

I haven't felt this emotionally affected by writing a book since Heartstoppers



because disgust and longing are universal

because jealousy is just love and hate at the same time


because, like I said

these fuckers are with me

it's hard to let it go

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I'm sorry. I'm apologizing to myself because this has suddenly (GONE OFF PLAN/KILLED ITS OWN OUTLINE) become a genuinely stupid book about stupid kids in love despite the odds and I'm sorry to them and me, because it will be so hard and useless


it will be me trying

I'm crying like a bitch for no reason because of those last two lines

because these fuckers are with me


Edit; not crying anymore

hi my name is stupid hormones

sometimes I read the HOLY SHIT tag in tumblr before I write young adult to make myself remember what it's like to be a good moron

EDITTTETris/tuthankamen?

OH I FORGOT YOU GUYS ARE LIEK THIS

My head hurts and I feel so damn groggy. I feel like this is going to be my life. oh my god. >_>

I WOULD STATE THE OBVIOUS BUT, you know, bodies, they do stuff while you're...alive.


Holy shit, he brought me bubble tea cuz I was sick..

Don't make it into something special. The act of giving you bubble tea is a visual increment on the 'possibility of sex' meter to him.


But…it’s…Tuesday…?!
I thought yesterday was Tuesday.
OH GOD.
If “The Heat of the Moment” comes on the radio, I am going to shit my pants.

I don't know what she was talking about, but her picture was pretty so I was 'meh, okay, pretty girls can be normal too'.


wake up from a hella good dream that isnt interrupted and actually gets to end, hop up out my bed and turn my swagg on, big ass breakfast buffet with chick is bikinis feedin me and massagin me, shower and get dressed with all brand new swagged out shit that i just bought, go out shopping and to like some amusement park or something, lunch, chill, BIG ASS DINNER, then a giant ass mansion party with girls everywhere loud music, hella alcohol, food, then a safe ride home to sleep lol

The prompt was 'my best day ever'. I like the mention of a safe ride home after he's contracted many STDs from said 'mansion party with girls everywhere'. I'm sort of proud he didn't mention weed/drugs for some reason.


Literally the most intense dream I’ve ever had in my life just happened. Seriously, there are no words.

well just make a post saying you had it, then, no hints or anything. that'll be useful to you as well.



I took a vicodin.
Holy actual shit. I have never been so high before.

'Actual shit' is a good combination; being that you took a vicodin and then shit.


I feel retarded.
He wants to call me. And I’m actually nervous. Me. Nervous? THE FUCK?!

I don't want to sound repetitive, but effort in the face of possible sex, he, etc.


so we kept dancing and i was like, all over Brian. so Steph and Dylan went to go sit down and by this time i’m on drink like, 8 or 9 and i turn to Brian and, I can’t remember exactly what i said, but it was something like, “what would you do if i kissed you right now?” or “would it be okay if i kissed you right now?” and he was like “yes!” and he kissed me. jgrthnfgfwlkmagthkthnlrdsemjf he fucking kissed me and then we were dancing still and he kissed me again and then we went out to the foyer and i was apparently going around screaming about how i kissed Brian and he was too and omg my Big was freaking the fuck out. my big (who was also drunk off her ass) came up to me and was like, “you guys are fucking adorable, kiss her again!” and he kissed me again. it got around the party in like, under a minute that we kissed.

i said something like, “ugh i wanna sit too” and he was like, “here, sit here” and patted his leg omg. when i sat down for some reason i kissed steph. idek someone told us to and we did bahaha
i kept saying, “are you sure i’m not crushing you” and he would say, “no not at all” and i would say “i like you so much omg” and he would say it back and then kiss my head or my cheek or my neck and then the one time i said “you’re gonna remember this tomorrow, right?” and the one time he was like, “if i wake up next to you i will” mgrnjtklmgrfe omg (i ended up sleeping at Steph’s house, not his lol)
i think i blacked out like, for a couple of seconds a couple times cause i would close my eyes (or i think i closed my eyes idk) and then i would “wake up” again and someone would be like, hovering over me and Brian saying that they were proud of me/us or that we were cute or something idk

i felt like i was gonna hurl so i went outside and threw up everything in my system, not even joking -_- then two of the sisters came out and helped me, then one of the brothers came out and brought me around back and was like helping me to breathe and all that. then my big came out and was helping me.

then our ride was there so we all got in the car and i like dry heaved and yeah.
we got back to steph’s apartment and i dry heaved again and fell asleep. yup.
now i have a headache and feel kinda nauseous cause i haven’t eaten anything yet today. so i’m gonna have a fruit cup and some pop tarts and then get a shower.
omg if you read all of this… kudos, man. i love you.


That bolded part is the only thing I understood, really. I'm not sure the other parts were meant to be understood. I've gathered this;

- Brian is the smart sort of gentleman, in the sense he's not a gentleman at all. He acts cute to throw girls off his trail. He's one of those sneaky types I've always had the urge to punch in the face.

- In California or whatever strange place this is, 'big' means best friend, not 'big head', or 'big wave', or 'big shit'.

- Fruit cups are still a magic cure-all, even in the 2000's.

- The writer of this masterpiece is an agent of Cthulhu, as observed by the prodigious use of the word; jgrthnfgfwlkmagthkthnlrdsemjf