like a stage in which the songs can't be taken away

this song
had me crying like a bitch

because I listened to it while I finished up the book, right when things were soft and glorious
fucking cried for two whole hours while I listened to it on repeat and wrote

I don't even 'like' music or think it all that neccessary for me to function, it usually doesn't get to me but this


So my next book, right. Gonna be called Revenge Kids. People write on a bathroom wall about all the wrongs done to them. Three kids (Adjudicator, Propagator, Machinator, you know, like from that one strangely amazing poem/tragic love story trapped under the guise of a rather crap animu) decide its okay to take revenge for the more serious ones. Little jokes, little beatings, and then someone gets murdered.

The ape asks,

"What clings to you?

Bear it—you cannot.

Accept it—you cannot.

But hidden—it is from you.

Recite its name."

Today, I will make a lot of food and contemplate being a shithead.


EDITITS (get it tits):

So mostly inbetween trying to let my books ferment so I can get perspective on them, I write crap fanfiction with a bit of smut. THIS IS PREPARATION FOR LIKE, STEAMY SCENES IN MY ACTUAL BOOKS because jesus christ I can't write a hot scene to save my life, not that my books need to have hot scenes, mostly I'm less about the sex and more about the glamour of it, but my reasoning is that more people (women) will read them.

I guess I like dabbling around, trying new styles. It's a relief to not have to build a whole world. You write fanfiction and most of the world building is done for you.

no I am not giving yall a link goddamnit, it's embarrasing, but here, have a shiny distraction






speaking of KH, sometimes I wake up and this song is playing in my fucking head