they crossed monstrous pairs and projected human seed into animal earth, only for the production of shameful crimes and barren deformities.

Horses dislike: People who ignore them, being stuck in a situation, envious people, feeling dependent




STOP.


STOP THE BEING RIGHT BULLSHIT.

ADD 'THE TEXTURE OF APPLESAUCE' AND THIS IS MY HATE LIST EXACTLY.


here's a story about a girl who is not me;

This girl (let's call her Becky for convenience's sake), BECKY works really hard on her art. Let's say, after three years, a particular piece of Becky's art gets picked up by a gallery/retailer/what have you. She's really excited, and happy, and pretty much in love with everything because for her, things are going well. So she tells her family and her art friends.

Most of her family/art friends are super excited for her. She doesn't expect them to be very excited, but they are, for whatever reason. Say Becky's cousin, Charlotte, is also an artist.

okay, fuck this story


I'm really not mad, or anything. It just feels like.

like.

It's the writer friends struggling and family members who've self-pubbed (4 of them).

The more I share the more they close down.

So I'll just stop.

It's okay. Most of my family is the kind that thrives off familial pride for familial accomplishments as a group. They're very hive mind like that. They're the type to order those online family trees that trace your roots back to africa or whatever, and get the fake 'coat of arms' blown up and made into prints.

The writer friends, well. This is where I learn which are really true, right?

it's just

I understand. Envy. I've had it these last three years. Everytime I saw someone get a bookdeal or an agent, I threw myself in my work. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. When I saw other people succeed it wasn't 'Why don't I have that' in my head, it was 'if I work harder better faster stronger, I can have that'.

that's just how I am. everything is my fault. When I don't get something I want, it's because I didn't work hard enough. So I work hard, and I get that thing, and that's that.

I'm a hardass that way.

what is the point
The point is


if you do not bleed it will not grow
if you do not offer it your heart, it will not sleep
luck and mandragoras

I'm sure I've said this;
life is too short to take seriously
people, too

love unconditionally and
never get attached
attachment is the root of all evil DOES THIS MAKE ME A BUDDHIST




I'll dye my hair and get some better clothes and decent makeup
and
drink absinthe the old fashioned way with sugar cubes
and
answer every question with a laugh



The hermit's coming back into town, off the mountaintop
Galadriel's bored of treehouses


DEAR GOD

how're you doing bro

let arrogance carry me to modesty and back to arrogance again
let everything wane and wax and come and go
let me love everyone in this life
and everyone in the next
let everything flow
and never let it stop
never
never
never
never
stop

because I'm never going to
stop
stop
stop
stop

never.